He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize