so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
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