i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
