No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
