If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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