Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
