Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
