have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
