just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
