toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Boobs are out for the taking
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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