i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
