so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
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