Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
