Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
