good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize
