I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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