the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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