Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
