You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
