I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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