Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Randomize
