Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
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