I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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