I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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