First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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