saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
