I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
