White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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