Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
