You're so nebulous sometimes
I just threw up on my dentist
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
