after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
