So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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