You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
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