All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
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