Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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