I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
