I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
