That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
