So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
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