Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
