i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
