i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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