I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
