This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
