i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Randomize
