idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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