Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Randomize
