Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
