If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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