okay pat passed out under dana's car
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
grandma shit on top of the toilet
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
